This year has been challenging on most levels. However, dating has become even more of a challenge. So with that in mind, today I am sharing some tips on socially distanced dating in Scotland. If you’re looking for suggestions for dating in Scotland while socially distancing, read on. Please note, this post is based on the Scottish social distancing guidelines from December 2020.

*This is a partnered post

Socially Distanced Dating In Scotland

The type of socially distanced date you can have will vary massively depending on what Level you are in. Scotland currently has 5 levels. Zero being the lowest and 4 being the highest. If you’re in level 0-3, you can meet a person from another household for a meal.

This means you have to stick to the two metre social distancing rule until you are seated in the restaurant. From this point, the one metre social distancing rule applies. Hospitality venues are closed in level 4, so you can’t meet for a meal in these areas.

You can, of course spend time together doing outdoor activities which allow you to maintain 2 metres distance. So why not head off and explore some Scottish scenery on your bikes?

Visiting each other’s homes

Scottish rules are very clear in that you should not be going into anyone’s home for non work reasons, if you don’t live (or bubble) with them. In Scotland, you can briefly enter someone’s home to gain access to their garden or use the toilet. This makes it easier to indulge in some home based socially distanced dating in Scotland, compared to England. So why not get the fire pit going and do some star gazing with your plus one.

Garden dating is something you can’t currently enjoy in England. This is because meeting in homes or gardens is banned there for anyone in tier 2 or 3. (Which is the majority of the country at present).

Socially Distanced Dating Options In Scottish Towns

The types of dates you can go on will vary from place to place, depending which level you are in. At present, Glasgow is at level 3, while the Scottish Borders are level 1. So Strathclyde dating will be very different from dating in Kelso, for example.

In Level 3 areas like Strathclyde, the risk level is classified as Very High. So all leisure and entertainment venues are closed. This includes places like cinemas, indoor bowling alleys, funfairs, snooker and pool halls, and casinos. Outdoor live events are also banned. This means you can’t have a Cinema or Theatre date in Level 3 areas.

Alternatively, in Level 1 areas like Kelso, more venues are available for you to take advantage of when planning a date. This includes funfairs, cinemas, snooker and pool halls and casinos, although nightclubs are still closed. Additionally, indoor and outdoor visitor attractions can also open. This means museums and libraries will also be at your disposal.

Planning A Date

In Scotland, travel rules are strict too, so bare this in mind if your date lives in a different area to you. The BBC say that:

There are so many amazing ideas for great dates during the warmer months. From walks along the beach, to picnics in the park. Dining al-fresco or watching the sun set from a hilltop. Yet it’s not quite that easy when it comes to planning dates in Winter. So with that in mind, today I’m sharing some Winter date ideas. Read on for some suggestions which may just impress your plus one.

*This is a partnered post.

Outdoor Winter Date Ideas

My first date with my ex husband involved us meeting on a cold January afternoon for a walk around a local lake. The weather was cool and crisp, and we got hot chocolate to go as we walked around the lake.

He’d told me I’d be fine in flat boots, but I really could have done with wearing my wellies or walking boots. We had a lovely stroll by the water, and enjoyed each other’s company. This was definitely a good date idea for a dry Winter’s day. Just make sure you’re both wearing appropriate footwear. For more Winter date ideas, carry on reading!

Rainy Day Date Ideas

Life in the UK means there’s loads of rain. Especially in the Winter. This makes it tricky to plan outdoor dates in advance. That doesn’t mean its impossible though. There’s loads of great places to go which are still amazing in Winter. For example, Manchester’s Cloud 23 offers views of the City from 23 storeys up. So it’s an incredible place to have a date, no matter what the season.

The Cinema or Theatre are also good ideas for a rainy day. Although they don’t strike me as particularly different from a “typical” date.

Road Trip

Alternatively, Wiltshire dating could involve a trip to Lover Village. That’s right – a village called “Lover” – it doesn’t get much more romantic than that! How cute would a loved up photo by the village sign be as your new profile picture on social media! (Assuming you’re ready to go public as a couple, of course).

Star Gazing

Cold Winter nights are usually amazing for star gazing. So why not light the fire pit, bundle up under loads of blankets and watch the stars from your garden?

If you’re feeling adventurous, you could always go for a drive to find somewhere away from the light pollution you find in towns. Pack a couple of camping chairs, some thick blankets and a flask of warm drinks, and take in the amazing light show that Mother Nature has created. Time it right, and you could even catch a glimpse of the Northern Lights.

Crisp Morning Walk

If you’re the kind of couple who are up and about early, why not grab a couple of coffees “to go” and take in some of your area’s natural beauty? A walk along the local riverbank or canal can be stunning on a crisp morning. Alternatively, head to your local park and feed the ducks, before grabbing breakfast together. Who says dates have to happen in the evening? In my experience, childcare is easier to find for a few hours during the day than it is in the evening.

Finally, for more Winter date ideas, why not check out these tips for dating over Christmas.

This past year has been pretty challenging for couples who don’t live together, and Christmas looks set to be a tough time too. So today I am sharing my thoughts on dating over Christmas during lockdown. Before I continue, I want to mention I am in the UK, so this post will reflect UK Covid-19 restrictions.

*This is a partnered post

Dating Over Christmas During Lockdown

In the UK, up to 3 households are allowed to join together from 24th-28th December 2020. Support bubbles are separate to this. So if, (like me) your partner is your support bubble, you can join up with 2 other households. Read on for my opinion on what this means and how this could work.

Christmas Bubbles

Assuming your partner is your support bubble, you can see them at your home or theirs as much as you want over Christmas. Additionally, you can add up to 2 other households to your bubble from 24th to 28th December. This means you could finally meet each others parents – If they agree to add you to their Christmas bubble of course.

Single At Christmas During Lockdown

Being single doesn’t mean you can’t date. In tiers 1 and 2, you can still meet other households outdoors, so are able to meet for a walk, or go for a bike ride together, for example. Alternatively, a walk, followed by a take out coffee or picnic could be an option.

You do need to be mindful of social distancing though. So you can go for an outdoor date in Devon as it’s Tier 2 there at the moment. But meeting a stranger for a meal in a restaurant for example is not currently permitted there. Don’t worry if you don’t want to meet in person yet though. This online dating agency Devon is full of singles in the area, who are looking for someone special. You can always chat online until it’s safe to meet in the flesh. 

Planning A Tier 3 Date

Now it’s Winter, meeting up outdoors is a lot less appealing. Some people may be tempted to break the tier restrictions, but there are still ways to date, while adhering to them. For example, you could indulge in a Zoom date.

Firstly, get yourself glammed up, and plan ahead to cook the same meal or order a take away for 1. When it’s time for your date, pop your phone or laptop in front of you and act like they are in the room with you. Giving yourself a pamper while you get ready is a great way to practice self – love too. It’ll get those endorphins rushing and make you feel good.

Alternatively, why not skip the meal, do a video call and play some getting to know you type games. “This or that” is a great one to quickly learn about each other. When considering dating over Christmas during lockdown, there’s plenty of ways to spend time together. How about video calling and watching the same show, or doing a wine tasting session together?

Despite not being able to get close enough to kiss, there’s still plenty of ways to date during lockdown.

Your first Christmas together as a couple is always going to be a challenge. Whether you’ve been dating for 11 days or been exclusive for 11 months, it’s always going to be filled with uncertainty. Do you buy a gift or not? Should you opt for a “boyfriend” card, or is it too soon? With that in mind, today I’m sharing tome tips for new couples at Christmas. So read on to find out what my tips are.

*this is a partnered post.

Tips For New Couples At Christmas

Whether you’ve been together for 5 minutes or 5 years, it’s important to communicate with your partner when it comes to the festive season. Not just about gifts either. You need to discuss plans for when you’ll spend time together, if you’ll visit families as a couple or individually, and everything else too. So read on for some tips for new couples at Christmas.

Tips For Quality Time Together

Christmas is all about spending quality time with those you love. Under normal circumstances, there would be office parties, drinks with friends and family gatherings to navigate. So it’s important to decide in advance which events you will attend together, and when you’ll “fly solo”.

When my friend took the man she had met on a Lincolnshire dating site home to meet her parents for the first time, she expected her parents to be shocked by how they met. They were fine though, and 5 years on, my friend is now married to the guy she met online.

They are actually about to celebrate their baby’s first Christmas together, so I think Lincolnshire dating worked out well for them.

Don’t forget to set aside some time to spend as a twosome though. Family gatherings are all well and good, but quality time on a 1-1 basis is important as well. You don’t have to do anything exciting. A relaxing night of Netflix and chill may well be just what you both need. Especially if you’ve over – indulged on food and drink over the holidays.

Gift Budget

Way back in 2000, I’d been with my first boyfriend for just 3 months by the time Christmas shopping needed to be done. We were both students at the time, and hadn’t yet said “I love you”. So I asked him what he wanted to do. He suggested we buy each other a card and a token gift, with a set value. This worked really well for us.

Back in 2008, I’d been with my partner for 11 months. We’d already moved in together and were both big Christmas fans. He went insanely overboard and spent a small fortune. (Admittedly, he had plenty of surplus cash to spend, but I didn’t). I felt so bad on Christmas morning when he’d spoilt me rotten, but I hadn’t spent anywhere close to that on him. Of course, he didn’t expect me to, but that didn’t stop me feeling bad. Looking back, I think setting a budget would have been a great idea.

Christmas Card Dilemma

People may well say they don’t expect a card, but in my experience, they are rarely unappreciated. When I’d been with a partner for 3 months, we hadn’t said we were “boyfriend and girlfriend”, so I got him a “with love at Christmas” type of card. So when he gave me a “Girlfriend” card he’d put a great deal of thought into, I felt terrible. So take my advice and be sure to clarify your “relationship status” before Christmas.

Most 30 something women in the UK have heard the phrase BDSM at one point or another. Chances are, you were probably introduced to it by a certain Christian Grey and Ana Steele. BDSM seems to have become less taboo and more widely discussed since the 50 Shades books were released, anyway. So with that in mind, today I thought I’d share a BDSM for beginners breakdown. This should help you to understand what it involves and how some aspects work. In the interest of full disclosure – I am no expert!

This is a partnered post

BDSM For Beginners

The first thing you need to know when it comes to BDSM is what the letters stand for. Sex educator Lola Jean describes it as…

“BDSM is broken into three subcategories… Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism. This is the overall umbrella where most kinks fall. It can contain all elements or only one – BDSM holds no judgment.”

Before you join a fetish dating site, it’s worth finding out more about what BDSM involves. So let’s discuss each of these three subcategories in more detail:

Bondage / Discipline

Bondage and discipline is basically the consensual physical restraint of a sexual partner. In most cases, this is done with the purpose of inflicting pain, punishment, or humiliation. Bondage is a common fantasy for both men and women. Additionally, many couples have experimented with bondage at one point or another. Many times, without realising it was a BDSM act. Holding your partner down, spanking them, or pulling their hair back all count as Bondage or Discipline. A much smaller portion of the population regularly practice BDSM while actually realising what they are doing.

Dominance / Submission

If you’re familiar with 50 shades of Grey, you probably know that the dominant partner is the one who takes the lead. The submissive is the one who follows orders. Some couples swap and change their roles – these are known as Switch. For some people, the thought of handing over entire control is frightening. For others, it’s exhilarating. You can of course make sure it’s safe by implementing safe words. This means the submissive can stop the experience any time they want to.

Still not convinced you want to be dominated? Think of it like this… Imagine being ordered you to lie down so your partner could pleasure you for hours… The only catch is you’re not allowed to orgasm… yet. The dominant partner controls when the submissive partner can climax. It could be minutes, or hours, or even days in some cases! Imagine how intense the grand finale would be after that!

Sadism/Masochism

Sadism means to obtain pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering on another. This may be of a sexual nature, but it may not. Masochism means to obtain pleasure by pain and suffering being inflicted on oneself. Again, Masochism may or may not be of a sexual nature. Sadism and Masochism are frequently abbreviated to S&M. This tends to be the most extreme and less practiced area of BDSM. You can find lots more advice at subs-and-doms.com.

Getting Started

If you decide to delve into BDSM, it’s important to remember you don’t have to do all aspects of it. You could start with some light bondage and spanking, and completely leave pain out of it. Each couple’s BDSM journey will be personal to them, and it’s important to discuss limits and hard no’s with your partner before play. Additionally, agree on a safe word (or action if you’re being gagged) which will halt play.

Finally, I hope this post on BDSM for beginners has been useful. Why not check out more of my sex and relationships posts here.

Autumn is pretty much here now. So alongside the pumpkin spice lattes and Parkin comes a sudden surge in singles looking for a date. There’s something about the longer, colder evenings which seem to make most humans want to find someone to snuggle up with. I’m no exception to that myself. You can’t beat a roaring fire, box set and someone to cuddle up on the sofa with. So with that in mind, today I am discussing finding romance in your local area. Read on for some suggestions of places to go to find Mr or Miss Right (or Right Now, if you prefer).

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Finding Romance In Your Local Area

Swiping left and right is all well and good when you mostly want some online fun. However, when you’re looking for someone to cuddle up with, it’s not necessarily the way to go. Whether you’re looking for someone on the Oxfordshire Dating Scene, or in the middle of Soho, there’s bound to be a local website to meet your needs. It seems that smaller, more localised sites are the place to go to find steady romance in your local area now. So if you’re bored of swiping and casual encounters, it might be worth looking for a more niche site. Don’t worry if you’re not looking for a Date In Oxfordshire either. Once you’ve registered, you can type in your postcode and it’ll find singles local to your area.

Blind Dates

When I hear the term “Blind Date”, I immediately think of the cheesy 1980’s – 90’s TV show. Come on – We all loved a bit of Cilla on a Saturday night. Don’t be afraid of letting your friends set you up on a blind date – you can always ask for their mobile number in advance, to see if there’s any chemistry there. I can’t promise the match maker won’t wish you a “lorra lorra luck, and a lorra lorra laughs”, but I am fairly confident in promising no shoulder pads will be required!

Autumn Fun

This is the perfect time to get involved with local community events. Whether you head down to the local pub’s Halloween disco, or your local community Bonfire… Both are great locations to scout for potential dates. Halloween is the ideal time to take a few risks and show your naughty side – if you have one. While Bonfire Night is all about looking for someone to keep you warm. Both lend themselves perfectly to finding someone to keep you company…

Volunteering

If you don’t fancy getting cosy at home on your own, you could always consider doing some volunteering. Soup kitchens in particular are always looking for extra hands when the weather turns. You never know – as well as getting a warm glow from giving back to those in need in your local community… You might just meet Mr Right too!

Finally, if these tips on finding romance in your local area have been useful, why not check out my relationships category here.

If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, getting back into dating can seem beyond daunting. Especially as so much focus seems to have shifted from meeting in the real world, to swiping on apps. So with that in mind, today, I’m sharing some tips and ideas to help ease newly singles back into the dating scene.

This is a partnered post

Getting Back Into Dating

The first thing is definitely the most important in my book. Don’t feel pressured. Some people come out of a long term relationship and immediately want to get back onto the metaphorical dating horse. Others need time to heal and grow. There is no right or wrong length of time to wait – just make sure you feel ready.

Additionally, it’s important you feel comfortable in whichever approach you take to dating. Some people may want to dive right into online dating apps, and swipe until their heart is content. Others may opt for a more traditional approach, and do a little flirting in the office, or at a bar. As long as you plan your date well and make sure you’re safe, do what feels right for you.

Online Dating

If you decide to give online dating a try, there are loads of options available now. Everything from hook ups to Isle Of Man Dating is there for the taking. For a lot of people, deciding what they are looking for can be tricky, so it’s worth thinking about it before you sign up. If you’re looking for no strings fun. choose a service aimed at people looking for the same. Some people want to go straight back to hearts and flowers, so should avoid casual meet up services. Additionally, if you want to find someone close to where you live, it’s worth looking for a local service like Date In Isle Of Man.

Bar Life

For me, the best of both worlds was always meeting someone in a bar. Definitely not a club as they don’t allow much in the way of conversation. Smiling as the guy next to you as you wait to get your drink and striking up a conversation is always good fun. Whether it leads to a date or not.

Office Romance

If you choose to go down the more traditional office romance route, it’s a good idea to think through the worst case scenarios first. If you end up dating your boss and it goes wrong, where would that leave you? Or if a co-worker starts sharing your adventures with the team, would that be a problem? It’s worth having these conversations in the early days of your dating relationship.

In my experience, the office Christmas Party is not the best place to start seeing someone from work. All it takes is one too many shandies and you run the risk of being all awkward for the rest of your time sharing a workplace.

Finally if you’ve found these tips on getting back into dating useful, why not check out more of my relationships posts here.

It’s safe to say the weather is turning now. The nights are starting to draw in and the evenings are cooler. Traditionally, this is the time of year when more and more singles begin looking for a partner to cosy up with during the cold winter months. With that in mind, today, I am sharing some tips for dating in Autumn. Whether you’re looking for a romantic walk in the woods, or a cosy night in… read on for tips and inspiration when planning your date.

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Tips For Dating In Autumn

If you’re planning a first date, it’s often best to do it somewhere public. Maybe you can grab a take out coffee and then go for a walk around a local park or woodland – if it’s a dry day. It could well be the perfect spot for that first kiss.

Additionally, if you’re meeting up on a colder or wetter day, perhaps a rural pub with a roaring fire will appeal. Speaking of fires… Bonfire Night is the perfect time to cuddle up and watch some fireworks together.

Meeting Your Match

With so many online dating services available now, there really is something for everyone. Whether you’re in the middle of London, or on the Isle Of Wight Dating – there’s bound to be a site and a service to meet your needs.

Alternatively, you could always meet your match by finally talking to that certain someone who’d been catching your eye on the morning commute, or in the office. Whether you’re a seasoned dater or new to the scene, there’s plenty to get up to in Autumn.

Places To Go

I’ve already touched on a few tips for dating in Autumn, but here are a few more in case you’re stuck for ideas…

• Pumpkin Picking: If your beau is as up for fun as you are, why not head off to your local pumpkin patch. Both choose your pumpkins and then have a carving competition! Personally, I think activities like this help take the awkwardness out of dates. Something about having fun helps everyone relax.
• Picnic: Who says Picnics are for Sunny days? Pack up a flask, some warm food and off you go! Personally, I love to take a flask of soup and some warm crunchy bread to dip into it. As long as it’s not raining and you’re both dressed for the elements, it’s bound to be appreciated.
• Cinema: Very cliché I know, but sometimes a trip to the cinema is perfect. You don’t even need to sit in the back row. Just lean in and enjoy the show.
• Halloween Parties:  Halloween is a brilliant excuse to dress a little more risqué than you usually would. So why not show your date that you’ve got a naughty streak too – assuming you have, of course. I shared some subtle sexy Halloween costume ideas here.

No matter where you are, there’s no reason why the changing of seasons should stop you dating. Isle of Wight Singles will be able to find just as much to keep them busy as metropolis dwelling professionals will.

Finally, if you’ve found these tips for Autumn dating useful, why not check out my other relationship posts here.

A friend confided in me recently that her partner had suggested they have an open relationship. She was really shocked by his request, but I have to confess, I wasn’t. With that in mind, today I am asking the question… How common are open relationships? Read on to find out my thoughts.

*This is a partnered post

How Common Are Open Relationships?

A quick google search tells me that open relationships have been growing in popularity in recent years. Of course, there’s no way to get an exact number without asking everybody on the planet. So I have done some maths and have some ballpark figures to share.

In 2015, the Journal of Sex Research published a study which found that more than one in five Americans have engaged in a non-monogamous relationship at one point in their lifetime. That means around 20 percent of Americans have been in one form of open relationship or another

Some Types Of Open Relationships

Open relationships can take on various forms. Generally speaking, an open relationship allows both partners to have sex with anyone they want. However, they save their emotional intimacy for each other. This means that, say a Husband and Wife partnership can have as many sexual partners as they choose, but only one romantic partner – each other. I assume sex dating sites make this approach far easier than it was, say 25 years ago.

Polyamorous – Usually, polyamorous couples have a primary partner, as well as a secondary partner. Imagine a woman who has a husband, but also a boyfriend. All parties know about one another and have an open relationship. The men won’t necessarily have sex with the woman at the same time, and both relationships are separate. Sometimes, all members of the relationship live together in one house.

Swinging – This involves committed couples exchanging sexual partners in a group setting. These “swaps” are usually a way for couples to add some “spice” to their relationship, and are especially popular among middle aged married couples.

My Thoughts

I’m happily married now, so it’s been a long time since I used online dating services. However, back in 2006-8 when I was using them, it wasn’t really acceptable to “date” more than one person at a time. Probably because your profile tended to be open to people writing on it. I was recently thinking about how dating in America is so much different to dating here. No strings dating seems to be less taboo there.

I guess it boils down to what you want from your relationship. If you love your partner but aren’t really up for experimenting in the bedroom yourself, an open relationship can be a great way for your partner to “let off some steam” without being unfaithful. It also means you can have that brief encounter yourself, without feeling guilty about it.

An open relationship should never be used by one member of a couple as a way to get away with sleeping around if their partner is 100% monogamous. As long as both parties are 100% agreed on their open relationship and they always have safe sex, I see no problem with it.

Finally, why not check out my relationships and sex category.

Recently, I am noticing more and more talk about what women are up to in the bedroom. This has made me wonder… Are women more adventurous in the bedroom now? I’m 30 something, and have never really discussed my bedroom antics with my friends. I am, by no means a prude, but it’s just not something I ever discussed in depth. So when I was recently asked how long it took me to orgasm, I was somewhat taken aback.

Disclaimer: This is a partnered post. 

Are women more adventurous in the bedroom now?

I was a big fan of the 50 shades of Grey series, and that book trilogy definitely got women talking. Did you read those books? My husband was pretty pleased when he spotted it on the nightstand, that’s for sure! I suspect it definitely opened up discussions in many other marriages too. Ana Steele seems to have inspired a generation of women to explore more than traditional “vanilla” bedroom antics…!

Vanilla is so last season.

A single friend recently told me she had decided she didn’t want to get into another serious relationship. Instead, she’d been doing some bdsm dating. She explained the site is just like a regular dating site, but without all the lies. She likes that she can be honest, and that she can meet up somewhere safe, have an incredible night and not have to worry about them calling back, or what comes next.

I’m all for women being able to play safely, so I can see the appeal. I’m happily married, so I won’t be discussing my BDSM hookups any time soon.

Healthy Sex Life Benefits

It’s not just young women being more adventurous in the bedroom now either – I read this article recently which said that over 50s are having the most adventurous sex of their lives. I can understand that. The kids have flown the nest, and suddenly couples have all this free time to fill…! We all know Sex is a great way to relieve stress, so why not experiment and discover new things together?

Intimacy isn’t just good for reducing your stress levels either. A healthy sex life can help to keep your heart healthy, and reduce your blood pressure. Research in Pennsylvania found that people who had regular sex, had higher levels of an important illness-fighting substance in their bodies… Immunoglobulin A. The levels were 30% higher in those who had sex once or twice a week, than in those who had none at all. (Don’t get too excited though – stroking a dog has the same effect on your immunoglobulin A levels).

Body Confidence

It goes without saying that confidence plays a big part in women feeling empowered enough to explore different things in the bedroom. While I have always been open to trying lots of things, talking about them is another matter entirely. The recent body confidence movement definitely seems to have opened up more discussion about bodies, sex and confidence.

What do you think? Are you talking about sex more, or open to trying more things in the bedroom? Finally, why not check out my other relationships and sex posts here?